Mary Sues in LotR: A Tutorial
by RowenaHeart
Summary: This story shows examples of Mary Sue fanfiction in LotR, offers analyses of each example, and demonstrates how not to write an OC in LotR fanfiction while offering advice on how to write an OC that is not a Sue. All examples written by me for this story.


**Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. I am in no way affiliated with J.R.R. Tolkien or his estate. Any characters, places, objects, or ideas from The Lord of the Rings are not mine.**

**This fanfiction is intended for educational purposes only. It is not meant to be taken seriously. The following chapter is an example of LotR Mary Sue fanfiction. Chapter Two will detail exactly what is wrong with this chapter. Additional comments on why this is a Mary Sue story and why it is wrong will be welcomed and included in Chapter Two.**

The Alliance of Elf-Lords: Chapter One

The Princess of Rhuinhail

Princess Theadrila sat on an outcropping that overlooked her lands. Her long white-blonde hair was loose and slightly wavy, but still straight. Her eyes were a purple-tinged blue, and there was a ring of fiery white around the pupils. Her evening gown, a stunning, soft blue and white dress, waved in the breeze. Her pointed elf ears stood out in the moonlight.

"Oh, father…" she sighed, gazing up at the swollen full moon above her. "Why did you have to die?"

She could still remember the day her father, King Pyran, had fallen to a host of orcs while inspecting the border guard. Rhuinhail was a small kingdom, but great.

"My lady," a voice intoned. Theadrila turned, her amethyst eyes wide. "It is late, you should sleep."

"Heranna," she said, recognizing her maid. "I think I will stay out a little longer."

"You must ride in the morning," Heranna insisted. "To Rivendell, where Lord Elrond awaits your company."

"I have not seen Lord Elrond since I was a babe," Theadrila said, looking back at the moon. "It will be good to know his company again. He was a great friend of my father's."

"The alliance of the elf-lords was great," Heranna murmured. "Now you must carry it on in your father's place."

"I wish that I had someone to rule by my side," Theadrila said mournfully.

"Come now, my lady. You must sleep."

The next morning, Theadrila and her company rode, starting from her palace at dawn. Within two days, they reached Rivendell, and dismounted to the welcoming shouts of the elves that dwelled there.

"The Princess has come," one young elf man said, smiling and helping her to dismount.

"And who are you?" she asked.

"Tolfey, my lady."

"It is nice to make your acquaintance, Tolfey," she said graciously, her smile radiating calm.

"I am honored," Tolfey said, kissing her milk-white hand and leading her inside. "Lord Elrond and some friends await you inside."

Theadrila followed Tolfey in, and gasped at the beauty and openness of Rivendell. They were at the same place where the Council had met to forge the alliance known as the Fellowship of the Ring, two years before.

"Princess Theadrila," Elrond said, rising. "We welcome you to the Last Homely House."

"My lord," she said, curtseying.

"Do not curtsey," Elrond smiled kindly at her. "We are equals here."

Smiling up at her family's friend, Theadrila rose and then sat down in a stone chair.

"This is the princess?" someone whispered. Looking over, she caught the guilty one, a blond elf man with blue eyes.

"Legolas of Mirkwood, you do our guest a disfavor," Elrond admonished.

"I was simply startled by her apparent youth… and beauty," Legolas said.

Theadrila blushed.

Elrond smiled. The two elves would make a good match for one another – he wondered if a romance would bloom during their stay that summer. No matter. Only time would tell the sway of such a great mystery as love.

After a welcoming meeting, the elves dispersed. Theadrila stood up, and the moment she did, Legolas was at her side.

"May I show you the gardens?" he asked, taking her arm. "I arrived a few days before you did, and had the chance to explore them. I have been here before, but they are my favorite place in Rivendell."

"You may," Theadrila said, looking up at the handsome elf who was smiling down at her.

Meanwhile, Tolfey, who was supposed to be her escort, watched with a burning heart from the shadows of the nearby greenery.


End file.
